‘Prayers in the chaos’: Reflections on raising a family of faith

Amid the joyful chaos and challenges of raising three children, with one more on the way, Lisa Gunn candidly shares the struggles and triumphs of cultivating a prayerful family life.

“Sometimes – I’ll be honest – it’s a battlefield,” Lisa admits, chuckling at the messiness of her daily routines.

“It’s messy, and I question myself a lot of the time.”

Recognising the importance of raising her children as Catholics, she asked her two oldest sons, Alfred, eight, and Edmund, ten, what motivates them to pray and engage in faith.

“Praying makes me feel safe, more confident, more loved,” Alfred said “Mum points out how much God has given me—having a family, everything we need, plus all the extra stuff—and that makes me want to pray more because God gives me so much.”

Ten-year-old Edmund emphasised how prayer allows him to participate actively in his relationship with God, saying, “It makes me more connected to Jesus. The more time I spend with Him, the more I get to know Him.”

Despite these touching moments, Lisa doesn’t sugarcoat the reality.

“Those are really lovely things the boys say, but the flip side is that it is a constant battle.

“Our goal is to be consistent,” she explains.

Lisa and her husband, Baz, both in paid employment, say they approach this goal with a commitment to “consistency mixed with flexibility.”

Partnering with her husband Baz, a Christian but not Catholic, Lisa incorporates prayer into everyday life, from morning blessings to saying the Rosary in the car.

“If the boys are too tired, I’ll say it with them at bedtime. Ideally, I’d like to pray after dinner with a candle before the crucifix, but that’s often unrealistic during the week,” Lisa admits.

Despite the challenges of busy schedules and her children’s occasional resistance, Lisa values perseverance.

“Kids will push back, especially when you’re exhausted,” she shares.

“It’s important not to respond out of frustration. Listen to the points they’re making. Often, they’re logical, and it’s a good opportunity to reiterate why we do these daily practices.”

The Gunn family’s spiritual habits have evolved over six years of effort, beginning with small steps toward regular prayer.

During this process, Baz’s advice was to “avoid perfection and focus on training them in the routine of prayer.” Lisa reflects, “Some days, they’re just exhausted from their interactions and school, so we adapt.”

Lisa integrates creativity into her children’s spiritual lives by aligning practices with the liturgical season.

“We create arts and crafts for special occasions like Holy Week, crafting crucifixes from leaves and mud.

“These activities build anticipation for the seasons, and the kids love them.”

Lisa promotes flexibility during structured times, using picture books and allowing the boys to lead during the Rosary when they struggle to sit still.”

“It’s messy and difficult sometimes, but those little glimpses—the lightbulb moments when they say something profound—remind me that it’s worth it.”

One of the most challenging lessons Lisa has embraced is accepting the imperfect moments. She recalls when Alfred lamented, “Why can’t you be like other mothers and stop saying the Rosary?”

His reluctance was influenced by his desire to fit in with peers, a struggle many parents may resonate with.

Though difficult to hear, Lisa reflects on the logic behind his question.

“I told him, ‘If I knew something to be true, something that would make you happier and a better person in the long run, my job as your mother is to give you that. Even if it makes me unpopular or seems boring, it’s part of my responsibility.’”

Lisa emphasises that moments like these require careful navigation, balancing honesty and love.

“It’s about being reasonable. They’ll push back, but these moments are teaching opportunities.”

Central to the Gunn’s approach is their belief in leading by example. “Kids can spot frauds a mile away,” Lisa says. “You actually have to live your faith.”

Lisa and Baz view their efforts as an investment in their children’s spiritual formation, knowing that the rewards may not be immediate.

“At this stage, it’s all about formation. If we get it right now, it will stick with them as they grow,” Lisa reflects, recalling her own childhood experience of praying the Rosary, which she once found boring but now recognises as formative.

Despite challenges, the Gunn family values their mission, believing: “Real love is about giving what’s true, even if it’s difficult.”

Their parenting focuses on resilience, adaptability, and trusting God’s grace, prioritising their children’s faith over perfection.