Navigating Father’s Day: Healing and Reflection After Loss

This Sunday is Father’s Day—a day to celebrate the Fathers and father figures in our lives and give thanks to God for this most precious gift of fatherhood.

I must admit, I have had a complicated relationship with the Day since losing my own Father.

On this sixth Father’s Day since his passing, I am reminded of how many steps I have taken without my Dad. The moments I wished he was here to share. The questions I will never get to ask him. All the times I have wondered what he would think of the paths we have taken.

Yet it is in mourning my Father that I am reminded of how much I have to be grateful for, and what an extraordinary blessing a good Father truly is.

In saying a good Father, I don’t mean a perfect Father – for there is only one who is perfect. But in seeking to emulate our Heavenly Father, a good Father wholeheartedly dedicates himself to his vocation. He loves his children, is actively engaged in their lives, is concerned for their wellbeing, and does everything in his power to protect them from harm.

As children of good Fathers, we are given an insight into how deeply cherished we are by the source of all love. We witness an example of how to follow our own unique path to sanctity.

We find the archetype of a good Father in Saint Joseph. A man who embraced all that God asked, regardless of whether it was the life he had hoped for. A man who abandoned all that was familiar, dwelling as a foreigner in a strange land, to protect the child entrusted to him. A man who nurtured and taught our Lord in his formative years. A man whose life is largely unknown to us, precisely because of his complete dedication to the mission he was given.

Pope Francis wrote in his 2020 letter Patris Corde, “Fathers are not born, but made. A man does not become a father simply by bringing a child into the world but by taking up the responsibility to care for that child. Whenever a man accepts responsibility for the life of another, in some way, he becomes a father to that person.”

I can attest to the truth of this statement, having watched several of my friends become Fathers. The boys I once knew have been replaced by men who give themselves, completely and enthusiastically, to their wives and children, serving and protecting their families with a chaste heart. They strive to be good Fathers by getting up and trying again with renewed commitment after every stumble.

I also see the reality of the Pope’s reflection in the Spiritual Fathers of our Archdiocese. Every good priest must be a good Father to all those our Lord has entrusted to his care. Nourishing them with the Sacraments. Walking by their side and helping them navigate every challenge, trial, and heartbreak. Leaving the ninety-nine in search of the one who is lost. Rejoicing when his children grow into the saints they were created to be. I have witnessed and experienced how deeply our priests love and give themselves to their children.

So today, and every day, let us give thanks for every man who assumes the mantle of Father: those who are currently Fathers, those who hope to be Fathers, and those Fathers who have gone before us. You are each an incredible blessing and a revelation of the extraordinary love of God.